We have a rat; ’tis sad but true
I’m glad we know just what to do
He stole our seeds for starving birds
At least I haven’t seen rat turds

Somehow they’re cute when in a cage
But in my house, they stir up rage
In me and Mrs. Box alike
At least she hasn’t gone on strike

I saw him first in the garage
Perhaps in search of some fromage (shut up – my options are limited)
Up on a shelf just out of reach
He scurried off – “Can’t touch this, beech!”

Next night I heard a scratching sound
From in the walls – he must be found
Our lazy cat can’t get it done
Is it that hard? There’s only one

So soon he’ll learn that cheese can kill
Forbidden fruit meets manly skill
From then our home will be rat-free
And I’ll have saved my family.