Happy 10th Anniversary, Jenny!

On this day ten years ago, I asked Jenny to marry me. It was the best decision I ever made.

Jenny is my best friend. We have walked together through good times and bad, laughter and tears, times of abundance and times of watching every dollar, lots of school, two amazing little boys, four moves, several jobs, and much more. And we still like each other! I couldn’t ask for a better wife or a more perfect partner, and I am tremendously grateful for her and proud of her. If you know Jenny, you understand why.

I LOVE YOU, JENNY! Here’s to many decades more!

2012 Highlights from the Blog

Happy New Year, everyone! I hope you had a wonderful Christmas / Hanukkah / Kwanzaa / Festivus and have begun to recover. We enjoyed a lovely Christmas celebration on the 24th and 25th. After rescheduling for illness, we’re visiting Jenny’s family tonight for Christmas #3. At some point we’ll take the tree down, but we’re in no hurry. It’s nice to let Christmas linger a bit.

In lieu of New Year’s resolutions, which I have given up, I wanted to look back on this year on the site. It’s still a small blog as blogs go, I suppose, but I’m honored to have gotten 38,000 hits from thousands of people on various posts and static pages, including visitors from 161 countries. Thank you all for continuing to read my little blog. You are the main reason I do this.

In terms of hits, here are the ten most popular posts from this year:

  1. My Little Pony and the Terrifying Threat of Gayness
  2. Act Naturally!
  3. Titanic 3D – Is It Worth It?
  4. Scammers
  5. Epiphatree
  6. Random Facts About Me for May 2012
  7. Men in Tights
  8. The Following Movie is Rated R
  9. There’s Always Someone Better
  10. Southwest-AirTran Dispatcher Seniority Update

Post popularity depends heavily on getting picked up by search engines like Google and getting people to share your post with others via social media, online discussion boards, others blogs, etc. That’s why your favorite post might or might not be on this list. That’s also why pictures of our family vacations or cute things my kids did aren’t on this list.

I also wanted to list a few of my personal favorites that weren’t as widely read but still made me happy:

What about you? Do you remember any particular favorites from this year?

Weekend Getaway: Dinner and a Murder

Jenny and I will celebrate our tenth anniversary on January 4. We’re planning a trip to Walt Disney World next month with the boys, but we also wanted to do something for just the two of us. So I bought tickets to a murder mystery dinner theater in Addison at the Hotel Intercontinental and booked a room there for the night.

Hotel

After dropping the boys off with my parents (thanks again!), we drove to Addison and checked in. We both love staying in hotels and trying new ones, so we generally pick a new, upscale hotel in the area each year around our anniversary. The murder mystery led us to the hotel, and I splurged on a loft suite. I’ve wanted to try a two-level suite for years, but they are rare and usually quite expensive. This one was right at our hotel and somewhat reasonable.

The hotel was beautiful and seemed nearly empty this weekend. The checkin guy kindly switched us to a different suite that overlooked the city rather than the parking garage. In honor of the holidays, the staff had decorated several Christmas trees and hung lights everywhere, giving the hotel a lovely glow. Our room was beautiful as well, classy rather than gaudy, with large flat-screens downstairs in the living room and upstairs in the bedroom. Each floor provided its own bathroom. This would be a great room for anyone who wanted to entertain guests. You could keep the party downstairs while maintaining some privacy upstairs. The bathrooms sported granite and brushed nickel plus a garden tub in the master bath. Both levels included large windows with a great view.

Frivolous? Perhaps. But we loved it. Here are some pictures of the hotel and room.

Murder Mystery Dinner Theater

Around 7:30, we went downstairs, took some pictures, and checked in for our murder mystery dinner. I performed in a murder mystery dinner theater during college at a tiny church, but the show was a traditional play. This show was interactive, like the one Jenny did during high school. Our event included five tables and 20-30 people, several of whom were actors who were actually part of the show, although you didn’t know until later whether or not a given person was a guest or a plant. Jenny correctly spotted at least one from the beginning, but a few others whom we thought were actors were actually just guests. Our host told us from the start to talk to – no, “interrogate” – as many people as possible over hors d’oeurves, salad, main course, and dessert. So we never knew for sure whether to trust the people we were talking to, which makes for an odd but fun dinner party. I won’t give away the plot, but it involved searching the room for evidence, listening and reading carefully as the homicide investigator presented new information and talked to various guests (or are they actors??), and trying to figure out what’s really going on.

At one point, the investigator singled me out as a person of interest, saying that my “background check” had turned up seven counts of indecent exposure (!), charges for which I might be getting blackmailed. I took offense to these accusations, as any exposure I’ve had was perfectly decent! Oh well. He did bring me up to the front briefly for questioning, and after that other guests kept coming by asking for handwriting samples. Since I was already in the hot seat, I tried to act a bit suspicious to mess with people.

The food and service were good, particularly the main course of chicken breast with mashed potatoes and asparagus, although it would have been nice to have a few choices rather than a fixed menu. They smoothly scheduled the food delivery during periods that we were up and around gathering clues and talking to people. The homicide investigator did a great job, deftly blending the script with impromptu guest interactions and bits of humor. (ask Jenny about Mama’s biscuits!) Obviously, this company has been performing these shows for some time and ironed out the wrinkles.

The whole event lasted about three hours, making it a great way to spend an evening trying something unusual. If you’re terrified of interacting with people, this probably isn’t for you, despite the website’s assurances to the contrary. If you hate the idea of getting dragged up to the front and handed a microphone for brief questioning, don’t book the reservation in your name. But if you like mysteries, live theater, and the unusual experience of interacting with strangers who might or might not be whom they seem, a murder mystery dinner theater might be for you. Jenny and I agreed that although it was fun as a couple, going as a group would be even better. One of the tables had a group of seven or eight, and they seemed to have a blast.

One final note…my wife is a genius and almost figured out whodunnit and why by the end. She also cracked a code that appeared among the evidence and deciphered a message from a murderer. However, I was a bit lost and pretty much gave up on figuring it out around halfway through, for two reasons: 1) I am NOT an auditory learner, so it’s hard for me to remember and process information that I hear, particularly names. I’d be a terrible detective. 2) I was a murder mystery noob, so I wasn’t sure exactly where to take my investigation. Was the answer hidden in the physical evidence, held by one of the actors who is waiting for me to ask the right questions, or some combination thereof? When we try another one of these, I’ll have a better feel for how they work and what I should do. That being said, for me they would be even more fun on the other side of the curtain as one of the actors. I wasn’t a fabulous actor back in high school and college, but I did dabble in it and enjoyed the experience. How fun would it be to assume a character and mess with the guests at something like this?

Gift Ideas that Make a Difference

‘Tis the season of giving! My awesome wife is already done with our family’s Christmas shopping except for the intra-family gifts that we’ll do later. She LOVES Christmas shopping. The challenge and thrill of picking the right present for so many people are one of her favorite parts of the season. Not so for me. It’s not that I don’t like spreading joy to my loved ones with gifts. It’s that I’m not a creative gift-giver, so the prospect of picking just the right gift for lots of people sends my stress level skyward. Will they like what I chose for them? Will they be disappointed if I get them the same thing as last year that they seemed to enjoy? Or is that a cop-out? So I am eternally grateful that my wife loves to shop, which is reason #128,105 that I married the right woman, but I digress…

The one type of shopping that doesn’t stress me out is buying gifts for complete strangers who are in need. Those kind of presents seem to fit the season even better than the other kind. Don’t get me wrong – I love getting presents and giving them to my people, but it just feels right to give good things to those who might not have them otherwise. Every single thing on my Christmas list is a want. Many others list actual needs, needs that you and I can help meet this Christmas.

Borrowing the idea from Rachel Held Evans’ excellent post, here are some gift ideas that will make a huge difference in the life of someone you’ll probably never meet, but who will be extremely grateful.

Quality Coffee to Fund an International Adoption

Quentin and Jessica live in New York and are trying to adopt a little girl from South Africa. The adoption costs around $20,000. They have teamed up with a great little Internet coffee company called Just Love Coffee to raise money for their adoption while hooking you up with tasty java. They sell a wide variety of coffee from numerous countries, including several organic and/or fair trade choices. I just ordered some of the African Skies blend and the Rwandan Coopac. For every bag you order, Just Love donates $5 to help Quentin and Jessica bring their little girl home.

Clean Water for South Sudan

My biggest water is that sometimes I tilt the cup too high and spill something on my shirt. For a huge number of people in South Sudan, the biggest problem is finding clean water. For some, the only available water is muddy and tainted with disease, parasites, and animal waste. For others, clean water is available, but only after hiking several miles carrying a heavy five-gallon jug.

Water is Basic is changing that. By drilling over 400 clean water wells so far, it has provided a new life for hundreds of thousands of South Sudanese. You can help.

Salvation Army Angels

Although I don’t agree with all of its positions, the Salvation Army helps a huge number of people in need every year. One of the biggest way they help at Christmastime is the Angel Trees, a simple plan that matches a child or adult in need (the angel) with someone who can help by buying them clothing, toys, and other items and then delivering them to a local drop-off center. Each year we “adopt” two boys about Brenden and Jonathan’s age and let them help us decide what to get them. It’s one way we’re trying to help the boys focus on giving rather than getting this season.

World Vision Microloans and Gift Catalog

Many of you already know I’m a big fan of World Vision’s Gift Catalog, which lets you purchase unusual but helpful things for people in need such as goats, cows, school fees, and seeds. This year, World Vision has set up a new option as well – a Kiva-style microloan program. You can search for individual entrepreneurs who want to borrow small amounts of money to expand their businesses and raise their quality of life. Many are farmers who want to buy seeds or fertilizer or another animal. Instead of paying you back, the money goes back to World Vision and is loaned out again to another small business owner. Both the gift catalog and the microloan program are great ways to help people climb out of poverty one step at a time.

Ten Bad Assumptions

You know what assuming does, right? It makes an ASS out of U and ME. – My tennis coach

Our world is complicated, full of gray areas, complexity, nuance, and small details that a casual observer doesn’t see or understand. No one can be an expert in everything. If I spend my entire life studying nothing but aviation and business, I won’t have time to become a doctor or a PhD in psychology. When we encounter gaps in our knowledge, we often fill in those gaps by making assumptions based on what we already know. Sometimes it works great. Other times, we can be way off.

This topic holds particular interest for me because I am frequently the exception to many people’s faulty generalizations. I am a man who likes yoga and spas, a former Baptist who drinks, a Texan who votes Green or Democrat, a Dallas native who cheers for the Redskins, a straight guy who supports gay rights, a writing major who dispatches airplanes for a living, and a white guy who likes Ludacris and Snoop Dogg.

Here are some bad assumptions that I’ve seen people make or made myself:

  1. All male flight attendants are gay. Many are, but certainly not all. I work with a happily married, straight guy who started as a flight attendant.
  2. All Hollywood actors are tree-hugging, socialist liberals. Ask Clint Eastwood and his empty chair about this one.
  3. All Christians are pro-life, pro-gun, anti-tax conservative Republicans. Those Christians seems to get the most press (see Franklin Graham and Robert Jeffress for easy examples), but there are also plenty of Christians who are pro-choice, anti-gun, pro-tax liberal Democrats. Both sides use the Bible to justify their positions. Both sides are right. Both sides are wrong.
  4. All airline pilots are male. True, the vast majority are, but a few are not. I would guess that my airline’s pilots are perhaps 4-5 percent female. At work it’s tempting to assume the captain is male, which occasionally leads to awkwardness when I address a female captain as “sir” out of habit instead of “ma’am”.
  5. All fat people are lazy and indisciplined, and all skinny people work out regularly and eat well. Such a gross oversimplification is easy but terribly inaccurate. One’s weight is a product of many factors beyond diet and exercise, including genetics, hormonal status, disease, age, and others that we just don’t understand fully. Some people win the genetic lottery and look good even though they eat terribly and never work out. Others work out like crazy and diet constantly but simply cannot reach their target weight.
  6. All students at ______ University have rich parents. Not necessarily. Many take out massive student loans. Some work part- or full-time to put themselves through school. Some are veterans who are taking advantage of the GI bill. Some get scholarships.
  7. All Americans consider the Christmas season a time of joy. Many Americans follow other religions or no religion and do not even celebrate Christmas. Even among those who do celebrate it, some become sad this time of year. Perhaps they lost a loved one in recent years and feel the loss more strongly now. Some have lost their faith and are reminded of how different their life used to be. Others are struggling financially and are ashamed and angry that they cannot provide the kind of Christmas celebration for their families that they would like.
  8. All Baylor students are Baptists who don’t drink. HAHAHAHAHA. Um, I had friends at Baylor who were Muslim, Catholic, charismatic, atheist, and of no religious affiliation. And yes, some of us did drink on occasion.
  9. All women who have abortions are young and promiscuous. Some are married and monogamous but don’t think they can afford another child. Some have medical issues that make pregnancy dangerous. Some made a one-time mistake and are terrified that someone will find out.
  10. All Christians save sex for marriage. Nope, only about 10 percent, roughly the same as the general population.

Oh, and don’t forget the ever-popular “All the people who disagree with me are idiots.”

You probably noticed the common thread among these bad assumptions: the word all. Each person is unique, a combination of his or her genetics, experiences, thoughts, teachings, and chance. It’s unwise and potentially harmful to generalize broadly about any group of people. Most likely, you can find exceptions to your generalization if you take the time to look deeper. Speaking of tendencies rather than absolutes, using most or some instead of all or none, seems like a better approach.

What are some bad assumptions that you have heard, or even made yourself?

Random Things I’m Thankful For

Many people have been using social media to share something they are thankful for each day in November. I wasn’t quite that ambitious, but I certainly give thanks for many, many things. Many are a given – family, health, friends, job, etc. Those are too generic and easy, don’t you think? Here are some more specific, random, and weird things on my list, in no particular order:

  1. Brooks running shoes, particularly the Adrenaline GTS that helped with my knee problems.
  2. The moment on my birthday last month when I came home from a run and Brenden and Jonathan ran up to me to give me a hug and say “happy birthday”.
  3. Having parents who are willing to watch my kids so Jenny and I can have time to just be us.
  4. My talented and amusing coworkers who charge $8.00 for a pack of Zingers and use a well-lit flying pig and pink flamingo as Christmas decorations.
  5. The way my wife knows, understands, accepts, and appreciates me like no one else can.
  6. Netflix
  7. Living in a small neighborhood that gets very little traffic, has no HOA, and has good neighbors
  8. The fair-trade movement in coffee that strives to pay coffee growers a fair price for their product instead of exploiting them
  9. The ability to send text messages to my flights instead of trying to track them down on the radio
  10. McAlister’s sweet tea, tasty sandwiches, and 99c kids’ meals.
  11. Having a blog where I can be real and talk about whatever I want
  12. My various iGizmos that keep me connected to my data and people
  13. The awesomeness of sharks
  14. Sleeping in a warm bed in a cold room
  15. E-books. Seriously, give one a try if you haven’t already.
  16. Live sports. Have you ever really thought about how amazing it is that we can watch a game live from thousands of miles away, often in high def?
  17. Yoga
  18. Travel. Not too long ago, many people never ventured farther than 50 miles from their birthplace.
  19. Good health insurance from my generous employer.
  20. Lotion for my dry, cracked hands in the winter months.

What unusual things are you thankful for this week?