Here’s a link to the pictures of our cruise to Key West and the Bahamas.

We dropped off the boys with our parents on Sunday afternoon, Brenden with mine and Jonathan with hers. There wasn’t really a good way to fly Southwest to Fort Lauderdale on the day of the cruise without a narrow margin for error, so we flew over the day before to be safe.

Monday

Monday morning we relaxed at Miami’s Haulover Beach before taking a shuttle to the port to board Royal Caribbean’s Majesty of the Seas. Embarkation was a breeze. I guess nearly everyone was already onboard because we had NO line at all. We found our room, small but comfortable, and began exploring the ship. Majesty of the Seas is an older ship that received a major renovation a few years ago, so she was in nice shape. Although each ship is a little different, so far they all feel very similar – lots of cabins and hallways, a casino, dining rooms, a theater, etc. After the mandatory safety drill, we bought some fruity adult beverages and sat on the Sun Deck to watch us sail away.

At dinner we got a pleasant surprise – a private table, as we’d requested. On both previous cruises, we always got paired with some random couple and forced to make small talk with strangers. Very annoying. Our two-top by the window made one of the highlights of the trip. Royal Caribbean offers My Time Dining, which allows you to pick a specific time to eat in the main dining room or to vary your time from day to day. It’s very handy if your after-dinner plans vary. The food was good, the gourmet cruise fare that helps make cruising my favorite way to vacation. We both enjoyed excellent prime rib and two desserts each. (why not?)

Then came the lowlight of the day – watching the Cowboys game in our room. Not only did we lose the game, but we also lost our multi-million-dollar quarterback to a broken collarbone. But hey, we were on vacation, and at least we didn’t have to listen to the Facebook whining about how much the Cowboys suck.

Tuesday

On Tuesday morning we reached our first port, Key West. We didn’t have any specific goals other than to wander the town and hit the Key West Winery, which sells wine made from fruit other than grapes. The wines were delicious – mango, key lime (of course!), blueberry, carrot, orange – and we bought four bottles. Otherwise, we simply walked around checking out shops, dodging the random roosters that roamed free throughout the town, and passing by the home of my boy Ernest Hemingway. We didn’t go inside, partly because admission was $12 each, and partly because it’s apparently overrun with weird six-toed cats, which sounds a bit like a custom-tailored version of hell. Key West seems like a party town. The locals were gearing up for a big Halloween parade that sounded like a cross between Mardi Gras and Spring Break in Cancun.

Back on the ship, we took a long nap (aaaaahhhhhh….), got dressed up, and then enjoyed another fine meal at the same table. My filet of beef was among the most tender cuts of beef I’ve ever tasted. Both our waiters were excellent and very nice – Supardi was Indonesian, and Luis was Columbian. Thoroughly stuffed, we attended our first show, a song-and-dance performance with surprisingly good renditions of old favorites.

Wednesday

After breakfast at the buffet (eggs, bagels, yogurt, etc.), we decided to work out to burn off the pair of desserts we kept ordering at dinner. Jenny went to the fitness center and hit the cycling machine for a while. I fought heavy winds to run 10 laps on the promenade deck. Then we cleaned up and stood outside to watch us pull into our second port of call, Nassau. Four other ships were already in port, and I took lots of pictures of them and the fabled Atlantis hotel on the way in.

Nassau was the only port that persuaded us to book an excursion. After much debate, we decided on a minibus tour of the city that visited a couple of rock-hewn forts and a cool zoo that featured a flock of marching flamingos. I recorded their performance for you and hope to post the video soon. The zoo was the highlight of the tour for me. Although small, it was beautiful and held lots of animals. And they sold a great Bahamian soda called Goombay Punch, which tastes like Tahitian Treat only better. I really liked the forts as well, but the tour guide rushed us through both of them instead of giving us time to read all the signs and go down all the hallways like I wanted. The island overall was quiet beautiful and colorful. Since the Bahamas are a former British colony, they drive on the wrong side of the narrow and crowded roads, so I was happy not to be in the driver’s seat.

That night for dinner we visited Johnny Rockets, a 50s-style diner that has a few locations in the Dallas area. I ordered a massive double cheeseburger with grilled onions, french fries, onion rings, and an Oreo fudge shake. (Hey, I was on vacation!) Then we burned it off (hahahahaha) with our first attempt at the onboard rock-climbing wall. I’d wanted to try a wall for years but never made the effort to go. It was a lot of fun, a bit easier than I expected. I used the easy path for my first attempt, so maybe next time I’ll try a more difficult path. The attendant didn’t really give us much in the way of instruction, so once I rang the bell, I just hung out up there for a while like a doofus.

Exercise achieved, we went up the champagne bar to watch the Texas Rangers play in their first-ever World Series game. We met a few other fans and enjoyed a cocktail while enjoying three innings of the expected pitchers’ duel. Then we retired to our cabin for the rest, and the wheels fell off. As a consolation prize, we ordered our traditional milk and cookies from room service like we do at least once on every cruise.

Thursday

On Thursday we stopped at our favorite port of the cruise, the beautiful private island called CocoCay. It’s maybe a square mile or two at most and offers lots of beach area, food, jet ski and snorkel rentals, shopping, and a great nature trail. We walked the trail to the secluded end of the island before returning for lunch and then chilling on the beach for a while. Not much else to report; it was simply a nice, relaxing day.

After a final delicious dinner in the main dining room (strawberry bisque, Caesar salad, tasty pasta, and a great Pinot Grigio), we took in a second show in the theater, this one a tribute to the 70s. The performers really seemed to enjoy their craft and were quite talented. Then we returned to the room to pack and watch Game 2, which also didn’t go well. But hey, I was on a cruise ship with Jenny and watching the Rangers in the Series. Even a bad game was great!

Friday

We chose the Early Departure option, which let us handle our own luggage and get off the ship by 8am. It could hardly have been easier. Then we took an RCI shuttle to the Fort Lauderdale airport. The flights home were packed, and I had to ride in the extra flight attendant jumpseat on both legs. Jenny barely made it on the FLL-HOU leg and got bumped from the HOU-DAL leg. I flew home, picked up the kids, and came back to DAL to pick Jenny up.

Overall, we had a great time with a balance of activity and relaxation. The sporting events kept me from sleeping as much as I should have, but I couldn’t help but watch the Series this year when my Rangers were in it. The four-night length felt right – enough to feel like a real vacation, but not so long that I got restless and tired of being away from home. Royal Caribbean is a solid cruise line, comparable to Carnival, although I slightly prefer the latter. Having some time just for myself and Jenny really renewed our spirits. It was nice to see our boys when we got home, though.

For other highlights, see my Top 10 Items of Note from the Cruise.

Cruising is a great way to spend a vacation. It combines food, entertainment, lodging, and transportation into a single, convenient package. All you have to do is reach the port, and the cruise line takes care of the rest. We’re not cruise experts yet, but we’ve learned a few tricks that might help you as you prepare for your first cruise.

• Cruises are what you make of them, so think about how you want to spend your time. Would you rather fit in as many shows, activities, and excursions as possible or relax by the pool for the entire trip? Are you looking for time alone with a friend or lover, or is your goal to party with lots of other people?
• Be careful when using your onboard ID card, which generally doubles as a room key and a billing tool. As with a regular credit card, it’s easy to spend a lot of money really quickly. Those $8 pina coladas and $50 excursions can add up really quickly. Shortly before the end of your cruise, you get a statement of all your onboard purchases. Some people’s statements require multiple pages. Some people call the cards “Drink and Sink Cards”, and with good reason.
• You cannot bring alcohol onboard without smuggling it. They search your bags at the start of your trip and seize any booze they find. When you return from a port during your trip, they seize any alcohol you purchase and return it to you on the final morning. I don’t know whether there’s a legal justification for this obnoxious practice, but it does ensures you will buy more $8 pina coladas from the onboard bar.
• Don’t be afraid to say NO to the paparazzi. Cruise lines make much of their money by selling extra products and services, including onboard photos. They deploy photographers to the dining room, ports, and some common areas and work hard to make you pose for pictures and buy them later at inflated prices. They print most or all of the pictures they take and end up throwing most of them away. Unless you want the photos, just politely but firmly decline when the photographers try to stop you.
• Prepare to tip like crazy. Except for restaurants, I rarely find myself in situations in which tipping is expected. Cruising, however, is full of tipping situations. Many cruise lines now encourage prepaid gratuities of $10-12 per person per day, which are split among your cabin steward and dining room staff. Oftentimes, they also add mandatory tips to drinks, spa services, and other service-oriented purchases onboard. When getting on the ship, you’re generally met by a porter who takes your bags onboard and expects a tip. When you visit a port, your drivers and tour guides expect tips as well. If you bring nothing but $20s in cash, your life will be difficult.
• Take advantage of the great food AND the fitness center. With a few exceptions, the food onboard is generally good and included in the price of the cruise. You want two appetizers and two desserts? No problem! The main dining room often serves gourmet-type foods that you might not see very often, such as lobster bisque or escargot. Be wild and enjoy! But don’t be a slug and gain five pounds on your trip, either. Most ships have fitness centers, jogging tracks, and classes to help you stay active and keep your metabolism up. Get to work! Exercising at sea is a blast, especially if you have a view of the ocean. Take the stairs instead of the elevator. Do lots of walking at your ports of call.
• Bring comfortable shoes. Even if you want to be a slug, it’s hard to avoid a significant amount of walking. Most cruise ships are huge, some over 1000 feet long with 10-15 decks. The lounges, restaurants, shops, and cabins are spread throughout the ship. In port, even the bus tours might require some walking to and from the buses.
• Try things you don’t normally do. Climb the rock wall. Embarrass yourself singing karaoke. Try a yoga class. Get a massage. Read a book. Spend the day naked and order room service. Make love on your balcony. Bring a tux or formal dress and get your picture made on Formal Night. Try playing craps or poker. See a show. Take an afternoon nap. And don’t feel guilty about it!
• Relax and have fun! You’re not in the office anymore. You don’t have to write reports, return emails, or meet deadlines. Unplug and let yourself stop rushing. Don’t demand perfection from the staff. Don’t look at your watch so much, if you wear it at all. You’re on vacation. Even if you’re not taking a tropical cruise, switch over to “island time”.

I know some of you have cruised before. Any advice?

In no particular order, of course…

• Before departure, Jenny and I drove down A1A Beachfront Avenue in Miami, which some of you remember from the 90s hit “Ice, Ice Baby” by Vanilla Ice. Unfortunately, we were in a Hyundai Accent rather than a 5.0 with the ragtop down so our hair can blow, but it was still a nice lightbulb moment when we realized where we were.
• I had/got to ride in the extra flight attendant jumpseat on the way home because the flights were so full. I sat beside one flight attendant who told me she’s going through menopause and normally gets hot flashes during takeoff and landing. What do you say to that? “Sucks to be you”?
• On the final flight from Houston to Dallas, our Captain was Doug Rider, an old friend of my dad.
• Our ship had a Johnny Rockets 50s-style diner. Unfortunately, it required a $4.95 cover charge. Per person. And you still had to pay extra for your shake or Coke. On the plus side, the food was good, the jukebox played most of our song requests while we ate, and our Indonesian waiter was a good dancer.
• We watched three innings of World Series Game 1 from the champagne lounge on Deck 14. During that time, the Rangers did great. We also watched the Cowboys game, the rest of WS Game 1, and most of WS Game 2 from our room. At those times, the Cowboys and Rangers played horribly. By that logic, we should either watch sports from the bar or not watch at all.
• I also ran about 5k on the ship’s jogging track, which was quite difficult at times. In calm wind, a cruise ship traveling 18 mph gives a jogger the sensation of an 18 mph wind on some parts of the deck. On the day of my run, we also had a significant northeast breeze. On one section near the bow of the ship, I was effectively running in a 30-35 mph wind. Running into the wind was tough. Running with it was dangerous because it kicked up so quickly and could run me into the railing if I wasn’t careful. The rocking action of the ship doesn’t help, either. But it was still fun, and quite necessary to burn off all the great food I was eating.
• Jenny and I got to eat alone at every meal in the main dining room, the first time that’s happened on a cruise. It was sooo much better.
• Since we returned our rental car to Miami International Airport, we were able to use the rental company’s free shuttle to the Port of Miami instead of paying another $24 for a cab ride. I got this tip from my buddy Rod, who has taken over 30 cruises.
• We both tried rock climbing for the first time and enjoyed it. Yes, the ship had a rock climbing wall. Being tall is definitely an advantage, as I had a much easier time on the wall than Jenny did.

Sorry it’s been relatively quiet this week. Jenny and I just returned from a cruise to the Bahamas on Royal Caribbean. We took hundreds of pictures that we need to sift through. I’ll try to post many of them for you along with a trip report within a few days. Stay tuned!