I found a great article, part truth and part humor, in The Atlantic called Caring for Your Introvert. It was refreshing to find someone who could eloquently describe me. Since I know many of you are introverts as well, I think you’ll enjoy the article.

Introversion is often considered synonymous with shyness, but it’s really more about the effect other people have on you. Think of your energy level, both physical and emotional, as a battery. An introvert recharges by spending time alone and gets drained by spending time with other people. An extrovert recharges around other people and gets drained when alone. Shyness, on the other hand, is more about how confident or self-conscious you feel when interacting with other people, especially ones you don’t know well.

I am both very introverted and fairly shy. That’s part of the reason I love working the midnight shift at work. I can keep to myself, do nearly all of my work independently, spend very little time on the phone, and have plenty of time to recharge even though I’m not technically alone. When I have a night off with no plans, when some people would call up some friends and want to go hang out, I typically want to spend some time with Jenny and then simply be alone for a while to watch a movie, read, or blog. In a group, I would much rather listen than speak, to absorb and think about your ideas rather than simply spouting off my own half-baked ones. I keep my internal filter on HIGH. Speaking up to a group requires significant energy and risk, which is why I rarely do it unless necessary.

But Andy, you might be thinking, you intentionally hang out with people all the time – at church, after church, in your small group, having friends over for dinner, and organizing events. What are you talking about?

I like people, but only want to be with them in small doses, and I need time alone afterward to recharge. As mentioned in the Atlantic article, I am interested in what’s going on in your life, but I want the real stuff, not hours of small talk about issues that neither one of us really cares about. What are your plans? What are you worried or excited about right now? How are you doing?

Introversion still seems to be viewed as a liability rather than an asset by our society. Sometimes I feel that way myself. I am grateful that our closest friends and family understand and accept my introversion, and some of them share it as well.

So please don’t be offended if I don’t want to spend hours on the phone with you or run around with you every weekend. It’s not that I don’t like you, because I do. It’s that I only have so much in the tank, and it takes a while to refill.